Sunday, February 27, 2011

Don't Take Any Wooden Nickel(odeon)s

At a time when everyone is doing Oscar predictions, I, who knows next to nothing about the nominees, am taking this time to squash a really stupid rumor that is going around Twitter and Tumblr, which appears to be a side effect of what I call "Nostalgic Bias Syndrome"- which I will get into one of these days.

This image is going around the Internet. It is so obviously false that it's not even funny. For example: Nickelodeon doesn't even use that logo anymore, their ratings haven't somehow plummeted in recent years (seriously, look at a listing of the most-watched shows on cable and see how many times SpongeBob comes up), such a plan wouldn't be economically feasible...

It appears that this rumor was started by a NBS-driven "article" from a high school newspaper. Which is odd, since I was pretty damn sure that the sort of NBS that twentysomethings use towards Nickelodeon has shifted to the Disney Channel when it comes to today's teenagers. Some of the quotes from that article are both hilarious and sad at the same time. For example: "Teenagers have wanted to show kids now-a-days what a real cartoon is made of but never had the evidence to convince these pups. Starting next month; these kids are in for the surprise of their lives." Which is basically a fancy way of saying "YOU DAMN KIDS GET OFFA MY LAWN." Either way, the spread of this stupid, stupid rumor seems to show how NBS overcomes common sense, especially on that breeding ground of moronitude generally known as "The Internet." USE YOUR BRAINS, PEOPLE!

®&©Jeff Smith


  1. Good use of Bone. You know it was almost an animated, traditionally-drawn Nickelodeon movie. But for some reason, somebody felt that was a true report.

    These somebodies are what we call in the industry "idiots."

    Inaccurate rumor and old logo aside, not to mention the whole "ratings drop" misinformation as well as the fact that it's from a high-school online new blog (no Harriet the Spy here . . . oh, come on, don't tell me I'm the only one who saw that non-Disney Channel-made Disney Channel Original, which was pretty decent), those shows aren't coming back.

    Doug is firmly implanted at Disney, who killed the series after it ended, Klasky-Csupo isn't doing much these days (I don't believe their Wikipedia entry saying they're doing Spy vs. Spy on MAD), Craig Bartlett is enjoying and entertaining kids with Dinosaur Train, and Gunther-Wahl no longer exists.

    This one line from the article sticks out:

    "Rumors have been circulating that the kids in the shows have now aged and will be moving on with their lives."

    If only that was true of those viewers that want those shows back on.

  2. Very, very nice response, Jeff. Yes, I know the story about Bone and Nickelodeon- it's a good thing it didn't turn out the way it did. Hopefully the animated adaptation currently in development will do it the justice it deserves- even if it's not in 2D as Mr. Smith would prefer it to be.

    K-C did the Spy vs. Spy segments for MAD TV, not the current MAD series. (I liked theirs better, actually.)

    And I'll admit I saw that Harriet the Spy movie too. We need more Harriet the Spies in the real world, willing to seek out the truth. You and I do a pretty good job, but to steal a line from a certain Liverpudlian, I hope someday the other twentysomethings who are helping to spread this silly rumor will join us. It's more fun on this side, anyway.

  3. The article appears to be a reprint.
    There may have been a real Nick article/ press release behind this, from the 1990s, and this new version may have been just a simple in-school prank, an Aprilt Fools joke if you will, that got out of hand. It wouldn't be hard to change a date or two.

    What makes me believe this is the case is the high school orgins. A high school newspaper would not have the contacts or clout to break any entertainment news, and thus would have gotten the info from elsewhere if the points in the article were true.

    If the article stayed within the school, none of us would of heard about it. Since we did, someone at the school with NBS got too excited and tweeted it to his/her friends without doing fact-checks. The internet took things from there.

    The article was not written by "idiots." The idiots are the ones that keep forwarding it.

  4. Interesting thought, but I doubt it- Cyma Zarghami has only been in the leadership position at Nickelodeon since 2006, the fake quote from her specifically claims that NBS is to blame for Nickelodeon's imaginary ratings failure, and there's also a general "you damn whippersnappers don't know what a good cartoon is" tone to the article as a whole, including the fake Zarghami quote.